Some hockey games get a little too serious. If you’re playing in a recreational league, the games should be fun. You should be enjoying the game while you’re on the bench. You might even find that you’ll play better when you do. Here are some of the “jokes” I throw out there when I’m on the bench to try to get people to laugh and have fun.
Ask the guy next to you, “Do I look fat with all these pads on?”
In the middle of the second period ask everyone, “Which way are we going now?”
When the team is losing bad, say in a depressed way, “I wish I was a hockey player … (long pause) … for the other team.”
Two seconds after the game starts, tell everyone that, “I don’t mean to be negative, but we are so going to lose this game!”
Point to your teeth and say, “After the great fight of ’98, I had to get all of these put in, brand new.”
If you have any good jokes for the bench, throw them my way.